Me + Technology = 911
You know you're getting old when you can't even figure out how to work a toaster.
My mother bought a new toaster that looked like should be illegal in 48 states. I spent an hour trying to figure out where the bread goes.There’s no slot to drop the bread or anything. It had a lid covering where you would normally drop the bread. I thought maybe it was one of those “push to open” kind of deals, so I pushed the bread down against the lid ...and pushed and pushed and pushed, eventually I got the hint that its not one of those push to open thingies. Now there is a nice little dent on the top of the toaster, but shh! Don't tell moms.
I later noticed a switch/lever on the far right that went sideways. I pushed the switch to the right and poof the lid opened and TaDa! There were the two slots for the bread. Turning it on was another issue and when I did turn it on....trust me that's not something you want to see after watching Jurassic Park. You mix this with my pizza and cheese sandwich incident...I'm surprised my parents haven't put me in a home. If my future wife wants breakfest in bed, she'll have to do it herself.