Long Distance Relationships: Can They Work?

Someone once asked me if a long distance relationship can work. I answered by asking: Can a local relationship work? Can it be any worse than local dating? You know the stories. People get cheated on, lied to etc. from people they date that live across the street. So, how is dating someone across the country any different?

The arguement is always that they need someone to hold, to touch etc.  I understand that, but the need to have a physical relationship is not always healthy. I have my moments where I want to hold someone in my arms and never let go. The last time I held a girl in my arms, I think Noah was still working on the Ark! But over the years I have learned to control my emotions. As they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Even though I've wanted to hold someone and kiss someone for so long, I'm stronger now because I didn't let my emotions control my decisions. Heck, if I wanted to do that with someone I could just go to a club, buy a girl a few beers and be done with it. I don't do that of course, for many reasons, one of them being that a relationship means more to me than the number of times I get to hold her hand. To me, it's about chemistry. trust me it's not easy finding a girl that likes my humor. If I find one, mama knows I'm not letting her go! Also, the more you are apart from that person the more special and meaningful the "get together" is. There are less arguments because you aren't around that person 24/7 which makes the "meet" days much more special and enjoyable. You'll treasure every hug, every kiss, every second you spend with that person. It's special and unforgettable.

They say there are thousands of fish in the sea, so why only search in the pond? Girls say all the time how all guys are the same, well if you fish at the same pond, you're going to get the same kind of fish. Want something different? Search someplace different and search for something different.

Trust issues will always exist. Doesn't matter if the person lives 5 minutes away or 5 days away. Does the distance between the two equal a higher risk of being cheated on? Not really. it's more of the person you are with. If a person wants to cheat, they will cheat while you use the restroom. If a person wants to be faithful, they will be, no matter how many invitations they get to a private party with Kim Kardashian. People don't cheat based on distance, they cheat because they're...(think PG David)........because they're..(you fill in the blank) You must trust and have faith in the person you are with.

Long distance relationships today are much easier to have than they were 20 years ago. I didn't date anyone when I was 7 but still you get my point..

Webcams: We have webcams now. Back in the 1990's we didnt have that. Heck, long distance calling was a fortune. Your relationship was with a pen, paper and the mailman. Now, with webcams, you can video chat/talk to anyone as if they were in the room next door. The best invention ever created for long distance couples.

Social Network: Ahh Facebook. While many people use Facebook as a tool to create drama and spread rumors, I use it to get to know people better. The statuses they put, how they type, the language they use, the photos they upload and how they interact with other people. Is that facebook stalking? Ok, but you'd be surprised how much more you can learn about someone just based on how they use Facebook. Regardless it is a great way to keep in touch with that special someone. It might actually be the place you meet that special someone.

E-mail: The great thing about talking to someone online is, that there is no shyness. No one is shy online, they can open up and discuss almost anything with you and e-mail (before social networks) was the main tool used to communicate and get to know one another really well.

Letters: My first relationship I lived 45 minutes away from her, but we wrote letters to each other every week and it was exciting. Personally I feel it was better than e-mail, because we tried to make the letters meaningful and special. The letters also carried our scent and maybe with a little gift enclosed. Good times.

Texting: Out go the paper and pencil, in come the Ipods and cell phones.  You spend all these years in school learning how to spell and work on sentence structure only to throw it all out the window thanks to texting. Despite the lasting affect short word texting can have, it is a great way to communicate with that special person. No need to sit around a computer waiting for them to inbox you back or email you a "hello." Texting only takes a few seconds to send. So, they can text while on a break at work, in between meals, while changing shoes, socks or even in the shower (admit it, you have texted while in the shower!)

Meeting someone for the first time is the scariest. If you've done the whole webcam with mic thing, then you know if the chemistry is there or not before you meet. I would recommend the video chat first before actually meeting. Texting and facebooking is one thing, but if you don't get along on the phone or on cam than the relationship is in trouble.

An article I read said to see your "partner" at least once a month. Ha unless you own half of Los Angeles that's not happening.  I say try for at least once every three months. That gives you both time to save up money for the plane/bus fair and plan the next date. I also suggest making it a fun packed weekend (or weekday) Go out, visit the sites together, do something fun. You've waited months for this day and you spend it on the couch watching a Jersey Shore marathon? I don't think so.

Whoa, that's a whole lotta writing! Point is a long distance relationship can work. have you tried it? How did it go?