HTBAG: How to Eat
I just want to talk about how you should eat as gentlemen. I doubt girls want to eat with a guy that sounds like a garbage disposal. I sometimes sit there and stare at those guys and ask myself: "How can anyone make so much noise eating?" Construction workers makes less noise. I'd like to give some tips on eating quieter but I can't see how the noise begins. I suppose eating with your mouth closed helps...a lot! Maybe getting some rubber teeth?
Ok, so maybe no tips for eating quieter, but chewing with your mouth closed does help. I've seen guys chew their food with their mouth so wide open it looked like a garbage truck swallowing opened trash bags. It's gross. As a stranger I feel embarrassed, I can only imagine how his date must feel. I chew my food slowly, which helps control the noise. I also do not speak with my mouth full. If for some reason you have to speak immediately (which never happens) just move the food to the back corner of my mouth so when you open it, no one sees the food.
Have you ever tossed food in the air in front of a fan. and have it splatter all over your face? Well, that's how sitting in front of someone who talks with their mouth full feels like.
Did you know eating slow helps you get full quicker, in return helps you to not gain weight? So, by chewing slower and with mouth closed, not only blocks out nasty disgusting sounds but helps you keep the weight off..and for Pete's sake, use a napkin!
I don't believe it's a very gentlemanly thing to sit there and chew loudly and have food falling out of your mouth. Kind of ruins the romantic quiet dinner.
Have any readers had any bad experiences with loud eaters on dates?