As I come to an end on my Faceology (the study of people on Facebook. Yes I do realize Faceology is some facial treatment junk, but I'm changing it's definition. Got a problem? We can meet in the parking lot!) I've discovered lots of things. One of them being a double standard and another being of course age discrimination. These issues never came up in the 5 years I was on Myspace. But there is just something about Facebook that causes people to go nuts! Might be possessed or something. It's just incredible the amount of drama there is on Facebook.
I've always said the more people you know, the more about people you know. I've known a lot of people over my lifetime and I have learned so much about them. I've always wanted to be a psychologist, problem is, I never know what to say to the person. 8 out of 10 times I get deleted by a friend for posting advice on their status. It was great advice, but since it wasn't what they wanted to hear they got angry and removed me. I wouldnt last one week as a professional!
OK so lets start with some of the things I've learned about Faceology:
The Double Standard
Girls tend to be more judgemental towards guys. It always amazes me how comfortable girls are with each other even if its a female stranger. Two girls talk about a bunch of random stuff on a wall, their happy, but if a guy has the same conversation, he'll be deleted. Why? Its a double standard. Guys cant do the same things girls do even on facebook or they'll get labeled. Example: A girl "likes" 10 photos on her friends album, then goes to the girls wall and leaves a comment: "Don't mind me, just liked all your photos. You're really pretty. Couldn't resist lol" Girls responds with: "lmbo it's ok I don't mind, thanks <3." Now a guy "likes" the same 10 photos and says: "Hello, just liked a few of your photos, hope you don't mind. If you do, its your fault then for being so pretty lol" Girl responds with "OMG get the (censored) of my page CREEPER!!!!" and deletes him. What was the difference between the male and the female? They did exactly the same thing and both left a comment complimenting the girl and hoping she wouldn't get upset. The real difference is when a girl calls a girl pretty, it's a compliment, when a guy does it, it's considered "flirting." But here is something girls do not know about men. Just because we call a girl pretty that doesn't mean we want her.
I've asked this question for many years: if a girl calls another girl pretty, does that make her a lesbian? No, so why is it when a guy calls a girl pretty she assumes he wants to be with her? You'd be surprised how many pretty girls out there guys would not date. Especially the heavy makeuppers. A guy once told me "Of course she looks pretty, she spent 14 hours putting on her makeup and the last 4 hours taking a billion photos to come up with 4 good ones to post on Facebook. David, never date a girl whose makeup weighs more than she does!" On an episode of Full House DJ (or Becky) said to Stephanie "The trick to wearing makeup is to make it look like you're not wearing any." That is so true and guys can see right through the heavy makeup and actually walk away from a girl if shes wearing a lot. Point is, based on what I have learned if you are a guy and just added a girl as a friend, you better not compliment her unless you've known her since nursery school!
There is also a double standard between guys she knows and strangers. I left a comment on a girls status making a joke....never got a response from her. Another guy makes the same joke a few comments later and she laughs. I asked her what the difference was between his comment and mine, she replies with "I know him." I'm still trying to figure out how that makes sense. One of her favorite movies was Rush Hour, gee, I guess she must know Chris Tucker personally!
Girls seem to trust each other more. Their more playful, some flirt with each other a lot, but its, as they call it "harmless flirting." If you put a male and a female together, give them a script to follow and say exactly the same thing or something similar to a girl. Who will she trust and become BFF's with? In most cases, the female. Many girls.. ok all girls believe guys are not understanding, that we can't understand their problems, that we can't be there for them when they need us, that we can't just lay around and talk about work, school or even other guys. I've tested this theory and their wrong. There are guys out there that do understand and do want to discuss these things with girls. The problem isn't "guys don't understand us." Problem is that girls feel more comfortable discussing these issues with other girls or even gay guys. Typical stereotype. They all date guys so feel they can relate to each other better. Again I tested this theory and I proved it to be wrong. I don't need to date a guy to know their idiots. I have male friends and male foes. Besides who understands the male mind better than another male? It is also a "safety" method. Girls know that other girls won't feed them junk or tell her what she wants to hear just to win her heart over. To protect herself from falling for another guy and getting a broken heart again, many would prefer to talk to another girl. So, when a guy comes in and gives her the same advice a woman would, she quickly gets defensive and says "You're not a woman, you don't understand." and deletes him. Few minutes later, a woman comes and tells her the same thing the guy did, but with different words and she feels better. Many girls don't look at the words being said, they look at who's saying them first then decide if it's good advice or not..
Judgmental towards 'Ugly Guys'
Something I learned on Facebook was that, with many girls, if she thinks you're ugly, no matter how funny you are, she'll pretty much hate you (if you're a guy.) Many girls will add anyone, but wont keep everyone, the first people they'll start to delete are the guys she believes are ugly. Their sense of humor, respect and manners all disappear. Recently, I replied to a status from a girl agreeing with her statement. She asked me who I was......just a sec, hold it there. That really irritates me when someone asks "who are you?" and its always a girl asking. None of my male friends ever ask. That's what the "about me" section is for. That's what the profile page is for. I told her "Read my page duh That's what its for." Oh but she would have no part of it. She started cursing me out and demanding I remove her as a friend. I did one better, I blocked her. Reason why she didn't visit my page to see who I was, was because she thought I was ugly and didn't want to waste her time visiting my page. These girls are less patient towards 'ugly guys' They don't give them second chances, they are easily angered and annoyed. Meanwhile they laugh at every dumb joke, reply to every comment and "like" almost everything the guys she considers to be "hot" does. They can do no wrong. The 'ugly guys" can do no right. Yes 9 out of every 10 girls say personality means more, but 5 out of 9 are lying. You may have seen some put "Like for a rate." That's a trap, that is giving the girl permission to call you ugly. If you feel you are ugly avoid those statuses, they will only hurt you more and make you feel uglier. I have too much respect for people even strangers to give them a rate.
Lack of trust in relationships
Many girls will say they trust their boyfriend or that guys have major trust issues, but I couldn't tell you how many times girls have asked me to add their boyfriends and see how he acts...I can't tell you, because it's never happened. I'm a guy, makes no difference, but girls have told me its happened to them. These girls want other girls to talk to their boyfriends and flirt, throw him some bait and see if he bites. Some girls would go to the extreme of creating a fake profile. Then they get angry when the boyfriend tells her that he doesn't trust her and makes a big deal about it. She doesn't trust him either, so whats with the drama? Guys don't need to do this, we just know ;)
Overdone Facebook Affection
For some reason people feel the need to spam their bf/gf's page with "I love you" wall posts. I've seen guys just trash her wall posts with stuff like that and every status the girl has is talking about how great her boyfriend is. Which annoys the day lights out of their friends.Thank goodness for the "Unsubscribe" button. Its not healthy for them to throw that love fest every blessed day of the year.They become obsessed with the idea of falling in love that they get distraught when it doesn't happen. Saying I love you is ok, but it is more important to show it and no I don't mean showing it on Facebook.Get off the internet and hang out, do what couples do...the normal ones, not the sex obsessed ones. Go to a park, eat somewhere, just walk around, whatever, just do something away from Facebook. Facebook Affection is probably more annoying than PDA. With Public Display of Affection you can look away and not see it again. On Facebook its right there in your face. You look away, but 5 minutes later another one shows up. The word love is overused and it's loosing it's meaning. People throw it around just as much as another 4 letter word, but that one never looses its meaning.
Much More Defensive
This isn't just a Facebook thing, this is all of the internet and pertains mostly to guys. Some guys have literally no respect. You will usually find this in debates. Which I feel is completely useless. A debate is an argument, lets not sugar coat it. Many times these debates get so out of control that they start insulting each other, making fun of each other than get really personal by taking shots at their family, living or dead! On Facebook they get defensive more so when other guys are talking to their girl and calling her pretty in her photos. Some guys want to show off their girlfriend or wife and actually appreciate it when someone says she looks hot. Other guys get down right rude and go off on any guy that calls her pretty, First off all these guys are on the internet, unless they show up at the girls front door, I wouldn't worry about them. A guy that can't control his temper over the internet is someone to worry about in real life, he may become abusive or controlling. I understand if its something major, but something tiny like this? Not right. Many guys use the internet as a way for them to say things they are too afraid to say in real life. I've seen people say the most heart damaging things to other guys (and girls) that I know they would never even think about had they seen that guy in person. Why? because they'd probably beat last nights dinner out of them. Facebook users are not that safe. Everyone likes to think "It'll never happen to me" Oh but it can. if you post your address on Facebook, you can be found obviously. If you just put your name and where you currently live, you can be found. If you post your phone number, you can be found. Don't ever assume things wont happen. You disrespect someone too personally, they might be crazy enough to find you....watch the news these things do happen.
The Attention W...umm The Low Self Esteemers
A lot of people will tell you that they do not have a low self esteem, but looking at some photos from their Facebook, I could argue that. You have girls wearing hardly anything and guys showing off their abs (or lack there of.) But why? Well for some, its a low self esteem issue. They want compliments, they want people to tell them how good they look. Others know they look good, but simply enjoy the attention.
A friend of mine spent hours (ok actually it was only about 5 minutes) telling me that her boyfriend doesn't accept her relationship request. He tells her how much he loves her (blah blah) but wont publicize or even acknowledge their relationship on Facebook. To me that's a major red flag. That tells me the guy could be hiding something. This is especially true for long distance relationships. Guys don't want to deal with the questions his friend or family will ask: "Why are you dating someone you can't be with?" Why this and why that, it can get annoying, but if the guy truly means it when he says I love you, he would go through all that for her, but if he doesn't... makes you wonder. I am not ashamed to admit it. There are a few girls that I would love to go out with even if they don't live near me. I actually have one in mind that I'd do anything for and would be honored to call her my girlfriend. Why deny it? If you truly liked someone you would go through hell for them. I don't think accepting the relationship request is considered hell.
When a guy doesn't accept, it could be because he doesn't want his other female friends to know. I say if he doesn't accept, you break it off and wait until he is ready to take the relationship serious. if he doesn't want his female friends to know, it must mean he likes one of them and doesn't want to shut the door on any future possibilities..
More to come when my computer decides to stop freezing.