HTBAG: A Gentleman never argues with a Lady

Is there anything good that can come out of an argument? Most of the time no. Especially if it is your first date. Avoid arguments at all costs even if you feel passionate about it. You can let her know how you feel about a topic without upsetting her. For example. If the subject of sports comes up and you ask her what her favorite team is and it just happens to be a team you hate, you don’t say a word, don’t even mumble. If you do say something, say something nice about her team and its players. Saying something like “Well, I don’t like that team, but they have a good team.” That shows that you have respect for her opinion and have knowledge about the sport. 

Having a difference of opinion and arguing are two different things, but having a difference of opinion may turn into an argument if the emotions aren’t controlled. A Gentleman should always try to diffuse the situation before it gets worse. If you see a possibility for an argument I say change the subject. You want to try to keep the atmosphere happy and cheerful.

I used to have a girlfriend that was not a Seventh Day Adventist and ofcourse we had the usual “Sabbath” debate. (she brought it up) Now I understand why God wants us to date within our own beliefs! She raised her voice and said I and my church were wrong. I started telling her Bible verses to legitimize my side of the argument. Well, she wanted no part of it, she said “This is the way I was raised and that’s what I’m going to believe.” After we had that conversation my feelings for her dropped and believe me if you argue with a girl on your first date or during the “getting to know each other” process, her feelings, if there are any, for you will drop. Women like to have conversations with men that doesn’t lead to an argument. Heck women want to have conversations with men period!

Preventing an arguement is more about watching what you say than controlling how you feel. Saying something like “I feel differently” instead of “You’re wrong” can save you from an argument. Remember that a discussion is an exchange of knowledge while an argument is an exchange of ignorance -Robert Quillen. When I had that argument with my ex girlfriend I knew immediately  the relationship was not going to work out. She only argued with me not because I was wrong, but out of sheer ignorance. She ignored the facts and refused to even look at them. That kind of relationship is not healthy and is not one we want to be in. We want to be with someone with an open mind, willing to learn and most importantly willing to listen. So guys, you can have all the differences of opinions you'd like, but choose your words carefully, you do not want to offend her. If you argue with a girl and insult her on the first date you might aswell go to the cemetery and bury your future with her because you just killed it.